Recap of Session 5: Caution: Danger Ahead!

Key Scripture:  "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires."  --James 1:19

Dr. Leman says, "I am convinced that improperly expressed anger in the home drives the wedge more deeply between parent-child relationships than any other single factor.  And I honestly think it is needless."

When you as a parent begin to feel angry at your child (or spouse!) watch out for these warning signs:

STOP - Think and gather control of yourself.  Try to determine what's really going on in the situation so you don't wind up saying or doing something that you'll be sorry about later.

DETOUR - Take an alternate route to get where you're going.  Instead of striking out verbally with harsh, threatening words and tone, take another path and look for solutions.  This may seem unfamiliar at first, but if you keep moving and stay on course, you will resolve the issue at hand.

CRASH AND BURN - This is when you throw your self-control to the wind and go charging in, saying whatever you please, regardless of the feelings of the child -- attacking, belittling, focusing on character rather than behavior.

Ephesians 4:26-27 tells us that it is okay to be angry but it is not okay to sin because of that anger.  We are not to let the sun go down while we are angry.  Harboring anger over time allows Satan to get a foothold in our lives.

Why parents get angry: fear of being threatened or losing control.  When our kids aren't living up to our expectations, we fear what others might think of us, or we react to fear of being a failure as a parent.  Instead, have FAITH: Forsaking All I Trust Him.

Why kids get angry:
Frustration
Impatience
Inconsistency in parenting
Fear
Modeling (acting out the anger he sees in the family)
Birth Order (feeling less intelligent, physically capable, talented, etc)

Teaching Anger Management to Kids:
1. Responsibility = Choices + Consequences - Every decision is a choice.  Unacceptable behavior has consequences (i.e. no TV/devices, time-out, no playdates, etc...)

2. Personal Example (that one speaks for itself)